at the end of paragraph

According to a recent study, a vast number of children aged between 7 and 11 spend an excessive amount of time either watching TV or playing video games. This problem may have some negative impacts on the children, their families as well as the society. The following essay intends to evaluate the effects and suggest some possible solutions to the problem.

first comment: at the beginning of the general section to write three sentences, words 50-60 words Its main role is to explain the background and ask questions, where you can write about the content through the appropriate rewriting to complete. In addition, at the beginning of the third paragraph of words generally used to show that attitude, because the subject is report type, does not require candidates to stand, so instead is intended that this article will tell the reader how the discussion.